Ebenezer Stones
- Capital Fellows
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
By Mary Lauren Veazey
Last December, Bill Fullilove guided our class through the Highlands Ability Battery, an
aptitude assessment that provided insight on approaches to problem-solving, reasoning
abilities, and other strengths ranging from pitch discrimination to verbal memory. The
purpose of the assessment was to better understand what career paths and work
environments may lean into natural abilities.
Somewhat unsurprisingly, the test categorized me as a long-term thinker. After all, I’ve
frequently told people that part of my motivation to become a Capital Fellow was that I
had a clearer picture of where I saw myself 10 years after college, compared to the year or
two immediately following graduation.
My tendency towards long-term thinking means I often find my mind wandering to
questions about what my life will look like in the future. Some of these thoughts are
invigorating: I enjoy picturing myself as a child psychologist, working with families to
provide clinical services and leading research on effective mental health interventions.
Some of these thoughts are imaginative: I like to think that my future home will have
mature trees in the yard and a library with a bay window. And still some of these thoughts
produce feelings of anxiety and doubt, like whether relationships will be healed or tearful
prayers answered.
Back in January, I was reading through Psalm 77. The psalms have provided me with a
beautiful liturgy of Godly lament and what it practically looks like to bring complicated
emotions before the throne of grace. I was particularly struck by Asaph’s progression in
this psalm. He begins by vividly describing his inner turmoil and then asks whether God’s
seeming rejection of him will last forever, if His steadfast love has ceased, and whether
God has forgotten that it is in His nature to be gracious. Quite the string of hard-hitting,
raw questions.
But then Asaph says something remarkable: “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes,
I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your
mighty deeds” (Psalm 77:11-12 ESV).
I was so encouraged by Asaph’s model of naming God’s faithfulness in ages past as a
reminder that He is faithful in the present. That He is sovereign over “big” things, such as
delivering the Israelites, which Asaph highlights in the psalm, while also concerning
Himself with “small” things. Seeing God’s care for me in the intricate or comparatively
minute details of life–kind and timely words from a friend, a warm sunny day, laughing
with the fellows–reminds me that God has not forgotten about the larger, messier aspects
of life. He does not grow passive and hears each prayer with the same attentiveness from
the first time it was prayed to the hundredth.
I was sharing these thoughts with a close friend from college, and she pointed me to
Samuel’s Ebenezer stone, which he places to memorialize God’s deliverance of the
Israelites from the Philistines. Since that conversation with my friend, I’ve had a helpful
mental image to view the discipline that Asaph describes.
The song Just as Good by Chris Renzema played on a drive a few weeks ago, and I have
been listening to it on repeat (it will certainly be making it into my Spotify Wrapped.) I
especially love the bridge:
And I will build an altar
And stack it stone by stone
'Cause every Ebenezer says I've never been alone
My faith will surely falter
But that don't change what You've done
'Cause every Ebenezer points to where my help comes from
Keeping a notes list in my phone of demonstrations of God’s kindness towards me has
been my Ebenezer stones over the past few months, allowing me to meditate—especially
when my mind wanders to questions of what my life will look like in the future—on the
Lord's deeds and know Him all the more as a tender Father who holds me in the palm of
His hand.
Mary Lauren is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2025-26. She is from Fort Mitchell, KY, and is a graduate of Duke University. This year, she is working at The Center for Public Justice in Alexandria, VA.
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About Capital Fellows. Capital Fellows is an advanced leadership and discipleship program for recent college graduates. Through graduate courses, a paid internship, one-on-one mentoring, and many leadership and community service opportunities, fellows develop and apply their gifts in real-world situations while learning to integrate a Christian worldview into all areas of life. Capital Fellows is a unique opportunity to live and work in the Washington DC area and to be an active member of a supportive community that seeks to serve the city with the love of Christ. It is also a unique opportunity to get hands-on experience in the workplace while deeply exploring God’s design for us as workers and contributors to human flourishing.
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