Resolving to be Present in the Noise
- Capital Fellows
- 22 hours ago
- 5 min read
By Isabel Church
I wrote three drafts of this blog post before this one. I wanted to say something wise about New Year’s resolutions or some reflections from my break (which was great by the way — I got to go to California to see family and some redwoods). But, as I was halfway through the New Year’s resolutions draft, I was reminded of my propensity for discontentment. So, I started to do some research about what contentment in Christ is supposed to be like and decided this is what I’d write on to start this new year.
There was this train that went through Grove City every day, sometimes waking Mary Margaret and me up at 5 am with its very loud whistle. Sometimes, it would go through in the afternoon, while someone was outside blowing leaves, and some girls down the hall were laughing in the bathroom. Just this past week, we spent time at Lake Anna for our Winter Retreat. The house was filled with yells of excitement from the group playing Monopoly Deal, the noise of the crowd and commentators from some football game in the other room, and the strumming of a guitar complimented by the voice of Mary Margaret or Yujin. There was little room this past week and even this past year, for me to retreat to spaces of quiet. And I would find myself unsettled.
I have spent my life chasing silence and quiet. I am an introvert and easily overwhelmed by large crowds or busy places. My favorite memories are quiet ones, often spent sitting on a rock looking out at some trees or sitting on a dock at my favorite lake in the Adirondacks. I say that I can feel the Lord’s presence more in the quiet. But when I am surrounded by busyness, crowds, or even the noise in a coffee shop, I find myself anxiously awaiting the next time I can be in silence. This leads me to isolate myself and to prioritize quiet over time with others. And so, in the busyness of fellows, I am beginning to learn that it is important for me to be content and present in the noise, because maybe there is growth to be found there.
Theologian Sinclair Ferguson wrote in a Ligonier Ministries article that contentment in the Lord is not something to “do,” rather an attitude or heart posture to learn: “It is part of the process of being transformed through the renewing of our minds (Rom. 12:1-2). It is commanded of us, but, paradoxically, it is created in us, not done by us.” Ferguson means that it is only through the Lord transforming our hearts that we are able to find contentment. I know that my attempt to try harder, to be content, is not going to fix the problems of dissatisfaction in my heart. Rather, I know I must release control and open myself up to let the Lord do His work in me: “...for Paul, contentment was rooted not in self-sufficiency but in Christ’s sufficiency (Phil. 4:13)...This kind of contentment is the fruit of an ongoing, intimate, deeply developed relationship with Him” (Ferguson, 2023).
In this final semester of fellows, I am hopeful that a growing relationship with Christ will begin to soften my heart towards the busyness and the noise, so that I might not miss moments meant to stretch me.
God be in my head, and in my understanding;
God be in mine eyes, and in my looking;
God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;
God be in my heart, and in my thinking;
God be at mine end, and in my departing.
Citation:
Ferguson, S. (2023, July 13). Learning Contentment. Ligonier Ministries.
God Be in My Head: The medieval French original from the frontispiece of a Book of Hours (1514). The English translation from the Sarum Primer of 1558, and then in John Cosin’s A Collection of Private Devotions.
Isabel is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2025-26. She is from Vienna, VA, and is a graduate of Grove City College. This year, she is working as a communications associate at The Fellows Initiative.
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