"Sorry for the Inconvenience"
- Capital Fellows
- Apr 25, 2025
- 5 min read
By Dasha McDonald
Let’s start with a little gossip. Two summers ago, I went on a date—despite calling myself logistically undateable due to the international nature of my degree. As summer ended, we hit the inevitable crossroads: long-distance or let it go?
My date talked casually about rearranging his life for me—adjusting his day-to-day to a six-hour timezone difference. I panicked and explained to him my sole desire was to avoid being an inconvenience. He looked at me and replied, “You’re going to be a burden to me.” Romantic, right?
But his explanation lingered: burden isn’t a failure in a relationship—it’s the cost of real connection. That idea followed me into the Capital Fellows program.
On day one of the program, I found out I’d be the second person to give a 20-minute testimony to the group. The work of Jesus in my life has been most clearly seen through hurt—abuse, divorce, depression, rejection. Not the stories I typically offer up to people I’ve known for less than 24 hours. Vulnerability with a group I was still trying to impress and find my place in felt hard, uncomfortable, and scary. And that’s coming from arguably the biggest extrovert in our cohort. The very first thing I did with these people was burden them with my story.
And they met me with burdens of their own. Story after story cracked open that retreat—brave, messy, holy. I had never cried with, trusted, or respected people so quickly. That week, the concept of being a burden shifted from a distant idea on a date to a lived reality. It marked the beginning of the deep love I hold for each of them now, almost nine months later.
A few weeks before that retreat, as I crammed to finish my summer reading, I came across this line in Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him… The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart uncertain, his brother’s is sure.”
This year, I’ve become convinced Bonhoeffer is right. It’s only through admitting the weakness and uncertainty in my own heart—and allowing others into that space (read: inconveniencing them)—that I’ve seen this truth lived out. Last week, our church staff took the CliftonStrengths assessment. One statement read: “I feel significant when others confide in me.” I rated it as deeply true. To be trusted with someone’s sorrow or struggle feels sacred to me. It invites me to love them more deeply as they allow me to know them more intimately. And yet—I withhold the same gift from others, afraid of being too much. Not allowing myself to inconvenience anyone cuts me off from receiving what I’m so eager to give—and denies others the joy of giving it. It stunts the depth of relationship that could be.
As I reflect on Maundy Thursday, I see Christ who inconveniences Himself—stripping off His outer garments, kneeling, and washing the feet of His disciples. Feet caked in dirt and betrayal. Unlike so much of the Christian life that can feel abstract, Christian love is stunningly physical. It calls for the practical inconveniencing of self.
This year, I’ve seen the Galatians 6:2 kind of burden-bearing love in each of my fellow Capital Fellows: Crying together over familial strife at Firehouse Subs. Midnight rides to BWI. Sitting in grief over lost loved ones in the Nursing Mothers Room. Typewritten notes tucked under windshield wipers. Therapy sessions processed over laps walked around the church. Graduate school rejections discussed on the drive home from Cornerstone.
And in leaning into our burden-ness as we carry one another, we’ve celebrated harder. We’ve shared a depth of joy made richer for its ability to be shared: Return job offers. Birthday affirmations. Graduate school acceptances. Friend reconciliations. Nephews born. New relationships begun.
Christ meets us in our mess with the fullness of His presence, inviting us to draw near to one another with the same tenderness He shows us. The Christ in my brother steadies the trembling Christ in me. Through the inconvenience of self and other, we experience His love in a tangible way, enabling us to carry what would break us alone.
Dasha McDonald is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2024-25. She is from Kansas City, MO and is a graduate of the University of St. Andrews. This year, she is working as an Ecclesial Fellow in the Missions ministry at McLean Presbyterian Church.
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Know a Potential Capital Fellow?
If you know a college senior or recent graduate who should consider joining the Capital Fellows program in 2025-26, please encourage them to get in touch with us. The easiest way to express interest in the program is through our Contact Us Form. You can learn more about the program, including application deadlines, by visiting the Capital Fellows website.
About Capital Fellows. Capital Fellows is an advanced leadership and discipleship program for recent college graduates. Through graduate courses, a paid internship, one-on-one mentoring, and many leadership and community service opportunities, fellows develop and apply their gifts in real-world situations while learning to integrate a Christian worldview into all areas of life. Capital Fellows is a unique opportunity to live and work in the Washington DC area and to be an active member of a supportive community that seeks to serve the city with the love of Christ. It is also a unique opportunity to get hands-on experience in the workplace while deeply exploring God’s design for us as workers and contributors to human flourishing.
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This week, the Capital Fellows will be worshipping our crucified and resurrected King, Jesus, together during Holy Week services at McLean Presbyterian Church and Capital Pres Fairfax. Please join the Capital Fellows and Capital Fellows staff in thanking God for these churches— For how well they have cared for, encouraged, and supported this ministry. We do not take the ability to worship freely for granted and are eternally grateful for the partnership of this church family.
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Capital Fellows is part of a network of similar programs across the country. This network is called The Fellows Initiative. There are 34 Fellows programs in TFI, roughly 3,200 alumni living around the world, and more Fellows programs on the way.
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