Going Back
- Capital Fellows
- Dec 5, 2025
- 4 min read
By Jordan Volk
As I begin gathering my thoughts regarding my Capital Fellows experience so far, I’m on a plane to go home for Thanksgiving. I went home for the first time a couple of weeks ago for a close friend’s wedding.
Transparently, I haven’t missed home very much since being here (no offense, Mom and Dad!). Given our busy schedule, I honestly don’t think I’ve had much time to miss it. But going home reminded me of the things I do miss about home. It felt like a breath of fresh air to laugh with my closest friends from college, see my parents, and drive 70 mph on a highway.
What’s interesting is that I didn’t think I needed to go home, but now I find myself on another flight, excited for the familiarity I experienced just a few weeks ago. As I reflect on this sense of returning to the comfort of a place that shaped me, I’m reminded of a quote a fellow fellow (ha) recently shared with me:
“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back.”- C.S. Lewis
I find myself tearing up thinking about this idea. I have tasted the deep comfort that comes with returning to a place I belong, and at the same time, I have only experienced the tip of the iceberg with this “going back” feeling. I cannot imagine the depth of the homecoming that awaits when I see Jesus face to face for the first time, revealing to me that every earthly return was only a shadow of the fullness to come.
Psalms 84:1-2 ESV
“How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.”
Hebrews 11:16 ESV
“But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.”
Jordan Volk is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2025-26. She is from Dallas, TX, and is a graduate of Baylor University. This year, she is working in the U.S. Senate on Capitol Hill.
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About Capital Fellows. Capital Fellows is an advanced leadership and discipleship program for recent college graduates. Through graduate courses, a paid internship, one-on-one mentoring, and many leadership and community service opportunities, fellows develop and apply their gifts in real-world situations while learning to integrate a Christian worldview into all areas of life. Capital Fellows is a unique opportunity to live and work in the Washington DC area and to be an active member of a supportive community that seeks to serve the city with the love of Christ. It is also a unique opportunity to get hands-on experience in the workplace while deeply exploring God’s design for us as workers and contributors to human flourishing.
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