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Lean In

By Rachel Sewell

It is almost impossible to believe that our time here as Capital Fellows is more than halfway over. These past few months have been a whirlwind in many ways – uncertainty, loss, heartbreak. To some extent, we have all been faced with challenges that have at times felt like major roadblocks. Things that seem to be preventing us from experiencing the richness of life, things that seem to be unfair, things that seem too hard to handle. Each of us, whether a fellow or not, will experience storms in our journey of walking with Christ. But, as I reflect back on the past few months, I now have a greater certainty of the Lord’s workings in hardships and storms. This may seem like a basic principle of the Christian faith, to believe that the Lord is working all things for our good. And in a way, it is. We know we are to trust God in all things, that he sustains us through all circumstances. However, when push comes to shove and the storms of life seem to crash like waves unceasingly, it can be harder than expected to remember and cling to these truths. But Praise God that his relentless love and mercy does not cease when/where our faith does.

I may not understand the Lord’s purpose in his timing and in his plans for me, but I have learned invaluable lessons this year because of these times. Among the biggest of those, I am learning to lean in. Rather than fighting and resisting the storms that come our way, leaning into those moments is really the only thing we can do. And that is OK. The Lord wants us to draw near to him, for us to recognize that he is our lifeboat. It is impossible to do that when we spend all of our mental and emotional energy trying to save ourselves. What a blessing it is to have begun learning this lesson and this truth now, especially because it is and never was promised that life will be smooth sailing.

Right now, the fellows are all in the process of figuring out what comes next. Careers, grad school, and living situations are all things that can feel like storms. Nothing arouses anxiety and fear more than an unknown future. And for those of us who are not dating or engaged, it can seem even more daunting at the thought of facing these things alone. It is tempting to look at this next step and become enveloped in the ‘what if’s’ and ‘not good enough’s’. But, if we take a step back and look at all that the Lord has brought us through so far, we can go forth in confidence that the Lord will meet us in those moments. Rather than pulling on my self-protective armor, whatever that may look like, I feel the Lord calling me to instead strip down. To be ok with the unknown and uncertain – to just lean in.

My prayer for Season 13 of Capital Fellows is that this would be an incredible journey of leaning in – into the storms, into the hard, into the present realities and circumstances which stand before us – and in those places, finding greater peace and love for our creator than ever before. That the Lord would reveal himself in the crashing of waves, and we would be ready and willing to take his hand and climb into his lifeboat.


Pictures from the Week

Mollie and me working hard in the kitchen to prepare for the week’s round table meal!
Alex being Alex at an after church lunch outing

The Capital Fellows with Admiral Tim Ziemer: We are so thankful for our amazing guest speakers each week!

Become a Capital Fellow...Or Recommend Someone

We are currently accepting applications for the 2020-21 program year and would love to hear from you!

Capital Fellows is a leadership and vocational development program for recent college graduates. It's a 9-month program that includes a paid job in your field of interest, service in the church and city, a personal mentor, vocational coaching, life with a host family, and customized seminary courses to help you grow in your walk with the Lord in all areas of life.

Capital Fellows is a unique and powerful way to launch your career, find Christian community in a vibrant church, and to get started in post-college life in the Washington DC area. To apply click here.


Benefits of The Fellows Initiative

You probably already know that Capital Fellows is one of 31 fellows programs in The Fellows Initiative network. But, did you know that the sponsors of TFI offer great benefits to Capital Fellows alumni? For example, Reformed Theological Seminary offers a 33% tuition discount for 5 years, and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary offers a 40% tuition discount! You can learn more about TFI's sponsors by clicking here.

If you know of a graduate school, seminary, employer, or other organization that would be interested in becoming a sponsor, please contact TFI by clicking here. Thanks!


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