More Than Intellectual
- Capital Fellows
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
By Claire Templeton
What does it mean to hold peace and fear at the same time? As I approach the end of fellows with job applications and life feeling relatively uncertain, I have had to dive into this question intentionally.
In his sermon, pastor Bill Fullilove talked about stoicism, the philosophy of accepting what lies beyond our control in order to find inner peace. In other words, by emphasizing rational thought over emotion, stoicism argues that virtue is sufficient for happiness. By implementing self-discipline and logic, someone who is stoic can theoretically navigate life’s most difficult circumstances. I researched this phenomenon further and found that the most common stoic practices include the following:
Premeditatio Malorum: imagining potential negative outcomes to prepare for future challenges
Journaling on character
Looking at the bigger picture
Acknowledging what is and isn’t within your control
If you are anything like me, you did an internal “check” of all these items. You may journal about your day, keep on top of important tasks, or just generally do all the “right things.” Yet, when life’s circumstances feel out of control, we tend to feel even more out of control when these stoic techniques fail to suppress the fear. I have realized that this paradox is not as binary as I had internalized, and the greatest picture of this nuance is found in Christ. On the night he was betrayed, we read that Jesus was “troubled in Spirit” (John 13:21, ESV). Yet, just moments before this, Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciples’ feet, despite knowing he was headed toward the cross. Jesus clearly felt both troubled and at peace, holding in tension the knowledge of the crucifixion and the resurrection. A more visceral instance of this strain is found in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus, while sweating blood, cries “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42, ESV). It is clear in this passage that Jesus is both mentally and physiologically experiencing the fear, angst, and grief almost all humans will experience at some point in their lifetime; yet, he submitted himself to the Father’s will and felt the peace of His provision. Jesus’ example illustrates a far greater alternative to stoicism–peace that is found in Him.
Sometimes I wonder if I dismiss the possibility of peace coexisting alongside fear. What if the presence of fear isn’t something that crowds out Christ’s tranquility? As I navigate the end of fellows, searching for a job and a house, I am reminded by Jesus’ life that it is possible to embrace the both/and of our spiritual lives–both the reminders of the resurrection, and the reality that things are not yet how they should be when Jesus returns. My prayer is that I continue to grow closer to God’s character, and that these truths move from my head into my heart and into how I live.
Claire Templeton is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2025-26. She is from Wake Forest, NC, and is a graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. This year, she is working for Atlas Free.
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