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Playing the Why? Game

By Mollie Bradford

We do a lot of personal introspection here at Capital Fellows…a lot. We’re encouraged to continually ask “why” questions to get to the roots of our sins, as we learned in our monthly Life and Leadership class with our pastors, James Forsyth and David Stephenson. We’re challenged by guest speakers, urged to reflect by John Kyle and Lauren Stephens (the Director and Assistant Director of Capital Fellows, and given space to process in our peer counseling groups explain. It’s been a beautiful of growth, vulnerability, and deep relationships.

To be honest with you, I’m not very good at digging and vulnerability and the whole deal. I’d much rather push it off and go merrily about life. In the midst of all the beauty that has come from it, I’ve felt myself grow cynical. Sometimes, it seems hopeless, naming all these sins I have and then trying to heal and learn. My mind jumps to asking, “how am I supposed to be more like Jesus in this broken world? Why not just wait until Heaven?”

At Club 45, the semi-monthly community of 4th and 5th graders at McLean Presbyterian Church, we’ve been studying the names of God. Over the past few days, I’ve been preparing to give the Club 45 talk on God’s Name “Jehovah-Or,” meaning “God is Light.” The text we’re looking at is 2 Samuel 11-12, when David commits adultery with Bathsheba and kills Uriah, her husband, to cover it up. It’s truly a horrifying and shocking story. The man after God’s own heart committing such acts?? How could this story have any sort of light?? But God doesn’t leave this story to a dark and depressing end, nor does He leave David in his darkness. God shines Light into David’s darkness, bringing David back to Him and ultimately redeeming the situation. Generations later, Jesus is born in David and Bathsheba’s genealogy! Now, how’s that for a happy ending?

But not only is He Jehovah-Or, but he’s also Immanuel, God with us! He doesn’t just shine a light on our sin and leave us there, but enters in with us. THAT’S why we can play the “why” game and discover sins about ourselves and be vulnerable with people. THAT’S why we confess to God and try to be more like Jesus. Because it’s not about us, but about HIM! He doesn’t leave us our darkness, but enters in with Light and relationship. I don’t have to be discouraged and ashamed, because He is the One to shine light in our darkness. He is the One to never leave us or forsake us. Thank you, Jesus! And thank you, Capital Fellows and Club 45, for being vessels through with the Light can work.


Pictures from the Week

Capital Fellows Leadership and Vocational Development Program Washington DC
William and Laura led a tour of the Capitol! Met Rep. Mark Meadows along the way. Cool having fellows on the Hill.

Capital Fellows Leadership and Vocational Development Program Washington DC
Selfie in our spring classroom!! Thankful to Bill and Debbie Clark for teaching us.

Capital Fellows Leadership and Vocational Development Program Washington DC
Mirror selfie! S/O to Grace and Anne for hanging out with us! Love it when worlds come together <3


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We are in the final stages of putting together the 2020-21 Capital Fellows class and would love to hear from you!

Capital Fellows is a leadership and vocational development program for recent college graduates. It's a 9-month program that includes a paid job in your field of interest, service in the church and city, a personal mentor, vocational coaching, life with a host family, and customized seminary courses to help you grow in your walk with the Lord in all areas of life.

Capital Fellows is a unique and powerful way to launch your career, find Christian community in a vibrant church, and to get started in post-college life in the Washington DC area. To apply click here.


Benefits of The Fellows Initiative

You probably already know that Capital Fellows is one of 31 fellows programs in The Fellows Initiative network. But, did you know that the sponsors of TFI offer great benefits to Capital Fellows alumni? For example, Reformed Theological Seminary offers a 33% tuition discount for 5 years, and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary offers a 40% tuition discount! You can learn more about TFI's sponsors by clicking here.

If you know of a graduate school, seminary, employer, or other organization that would be interested in becoming a sponsor, please contact TFI by clicking here. Thanks!


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